olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs

the snow has melted
now it’s all table salt in little heaps on the street pavements and grass, that you could dip your hard boiled eggs into

english accents turn on american ppl
french accents turn on english ppl
american accents turn on french ppl
english accent turns on american ppl
french accent turns on english ppl
american accent turns on french ppl
english accent turns on american ppl
french accent turns on english ppl
american accent turns on french ppl

i go onto craigslist and pick random items, i message the people and bargain with them just to try and get ridiculous prices, for practice and funsies
resume worthy or resume not worthy i do wonder?

do people go to mcdonalds to eat food or feel like sin, nowadays?

when the toilet water splashes directly back up onto your butt hole spot
such precision is inhumane

they’ve been explaining other species’ physical, physiological or social features. why bats have fugly noses and ears - it’s to being able to ‘see’ in caves. why spiders are able to basically produce deadly poison inside of their own heads - it’s cause without it they’re shitty animals without arms or legs that would have died otherwise. why ants group themselves in societies - cause they survive better together

but who gives a shit right. maybe they should redirect the whole research to try to explain why the modern human as a species is a douchebag
learning about ant societies is biology science, learning about human societies is fucking philosophic literature

who washes their ziplock bags in the sink together with the dishes and then reuses them?
who does that? is that a thing one would do ?
does only my housemate do that?

what s ur best site to watch streaming movies?
(you can tell me its ok)

so how does one start dealing drugs from scratch?

- hey wats in your hand
- nafen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i turn around and look into the camera, secretly open my hand to reveal sand, and whisper ssshhhh ehhehe
- HEY COPE THISSSS
i throw it in their eyes
the person subsequently dies and you re an accomplice lol joke s on u now
(u knew)

the video intro for my life would be hands trying to catch thin egg white bits underwater and “LYF” written over it in exotica medium 144 yellow and a tiny “MCMXCI” bellow, centered, in neutra text

biceps triceps quadriceps, where s the monoceps?